smirker

New This Week:

2009-11-19T10:47:00.000-08:00

-Gold Burberry sneakers for $50, regularly $595.
-Found a Douglas Fir incense at Whole Foods that smells like a fragrant fireplace.
-Fantastic Mr. Fox is indeed fantastic.
-Reading The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell.
-Working on my new script.
-The new Trader Joe's on Sunset (in the same shopping center as the old Virgin Megastore) is undiscovered and pristine.
-Speaking of Trader Joe's, their edamame hummus is really tasty.
-Bummed that Mad Men is over. The season just zipped by.
-All the wine purchased at Domaine LA has been spectacular.
-Can't decide on holiday cards.
-Thanksgiving is in a week! Holy shit.
-Trying out the Pomodoro Technique - it is surprisingly effective when followed correctly.

Wine!

2009-10-21T10:20:00.000-07:00

If you live in L.A. and you like wine, have I got a store for you. It's called Domaine L.A. and it totally rocks. Located at 6801 Melrose Avenue it is one of those strip mall gems that you love in Los Angeles. The owner is a former development exec who initially began with an online store: http://domaine547.com/ and has just now built a brick and mortar version. The layout and design of the store is very simple and charmingly whimsical. The shelves flank the walls with a stripe of chalkboard paint all the way around the room so the employees can write notes about the regions and the wines. There is a fairly wide range of prices, but most of the wines, especially the Spanish and American wines, fall around or until $20. The owner has tasted and selected every bottle, and the staff have an equally informed palate, able to recommend their favorite wines. We went in on a whim and came out with four bottles. One of which we opened last night and it was delicious. I really enjoy Du Vin on San Vicente, but the layout there is very stuffy. Domaine LA has the same friendly service but with a more contemporary space. They're also looking to expand their selection in the next few months, and are planning to host wine tasting events. Definitely a spot to check out if you're a casual wine drinker or a full on oenophile.

Domaine LA
6801 Melrose Avenue
(323) 932-0280
Open 7 days and holidays

http://domaine547.com/store/

End of Hiatus

2009-10-21T09:45:00.000-07:00

My apologies for falling off the map. A combination of unemployment, subsequent freelancing, and general malaise were contributing factors. As a thank you for your patience, here is a recipe of my own creation:

Garlicky White Bean and Ricotta Puree

Ingredients:
6 cloves garlic minced
1 can cannellini beans drained
2 cups broth boiling (either chicken or vegetable)
1/3 cup ricotta (I used low fat, but if you prefer whole fat, or part skim, both would work)
2 oz. fontina cheese grated
1/2 tsp. garlic powder
1/4 tsp. thyme
Salt and Pepper to taste
Prosciutto (optional)

1. Toss minced garlic in with a glug of olive oil on medium-low heat for about a minute or two. Doesn't have to get too soft.
2. Add the drained beans. Toss to coat. Let cook for four minutes, stirring frequently.
3. Add one cup of the broth (save the other for later) and turn the heat down to low. Let the beans simmer in this until the broth has been completely absorbed.
4. Get out your food processor and measure out the ricotta and grate the fontina. Put both cheeses, garlic powder, thyme, and a dash of salt and pepper into the food processor. If you don't have one you could use a blender or an immersion mixer.
5. When the beans have absorbed all the broth, add beans to food processor and puree until smooth. Taste. Add any additional seasoning you deem necessary.
6. Pour last cup of broth into pan and turn up heat so it gets close to a boil. Scrape all the garlic and bean remnants from the bottom and sides of pan. Add the puree from the food processor and turn the heat down to medium. Stir constantly until the broth is absorbed and the puree is smooth and fluffy.
7. If you're adding prosciutto, I usually tear it up, put it in my cast iron skillet, and put the skillet in a preheated 400 degree oven for about six to eight minutes or until it's crispy. But ovens vary so keep a close eye on yours.
8. Serve puree with a little diced red onion on top, and if you have any jarred pesto laying around, a little half teaspoon on top would be delicious. If you're going for the prosciutto, either place the crispy pieces on top of puree, or mix it in before serving-it will retain it's crunch.
9. Eat!

I made this as a side last night, to go along side a spaghetti squash gratin I made, but it would work with any protein or vegetable dish.

Thoughts on S.B. and C.K.

2009-04-24T11:40:00.000-07:00

There are two occurrences from the past two weeks that are vastly different but similar in one very significant way. This Susan Boyle woman, and the "Craigslist Killer" dude. Both are getting incredible air time/attention/etc. because somehow we continue to have these preconceptions of what people should look like and are dumbfounded when someone appears who doesn't fit into that stereotype. Not to be smug, but neither Boyle nor C.K. really surprised me. There must be hundreds or thousands of pudgy older women with excellent singing voices. Who makes up church choirs? The ability to sing has nothing to do with looks, clearly. Nor does the ability to paint, or write, or discover vaccines. This Boyle business reminds me of the demise of Christopher Cross, the pudgy unappealing writer/singer of Arthur's Theme and Sailing, two songs which I despise but I can grasp their allure. Once MTV got their hooks into Cross, and people saw how bland he was, especially compared to the majority of 80's acts, he was toast. In fact, if you ever watch those I love the 70's marathons on VH1, you may be amazed by how strange looking and unattractive a lot of those musicians were (TONS of bad perms, robust women in sparkles, and bushy beards.)

As far as C.K., he's just some asshole 20 something who seems to have a gambling problem and a bad case of misogyny, who took to brutalizing women to get money. But he's white! So are most serial killers. But he doesn't look like a murderer! Hey, Charles Manson was friends with some of the Beach Boys. Murderers aren't creepy hand wringers with Snidely Whiplash mustaches. They're the "quiet" "polite" "nice" guy next door. News flash! Chubby ladies with Andy Rooney eyebrows can sing beautifully, and handsome white dudes kill people. It would be more surprising if Boyle had been the craigslist killer. Now that would give me pause. It isn't so much about judging people on their appearance. We all do that. Even Susan Boyle. But trying to find patterns, expecting evil people to LOOK evil, is just ridiculous. As a writer, I love to explore dichotomies and I spend a great deal of time thinking about how people rarely say exactly what they mean, or are thinking, and how easy it is to pretend to be something else. Excessively good or bad people look exactly the same. What's in your brain and what you're capable of do not translate onto your face.

Barf

2009-03-22T21:31:00.000-07:00

It rained this morning, which meant fewer babies and yoga moms at the Farmer's Market, which is always a good thing. Strawberries are just starting to look good, so we bought a tray of them, as well as broccoli, asparagus, brussels sprouts, leeks, zucchini, apples, lemons, onions, and garlic. I've been really into sauteing brussels sprouts, and then adding some crispy pancetta, maybe a few toasted pine nuts, and some parmesan. I like cooking the pancetta in the oven in the cast iron skillet. Deelish. With the asparagus, I roast it and sometimes make an almond "crumble" which is just almonds and garlic that I throw in my mini-food processor. Although yesterday for lunch I tried my hand at an Alice Waters recipe, where I sliced the asparagus with my mandoline, added oil and S&P and some shaved parmesan. I could put parmesan on anything!

But back to the babies, I really think there is something in my brain, some baby synapse, that's missing. Don't get me wrong, I'm not worried or disappointed. Quite the contrary. But whenever I see children or babies, I'm often struck wondering how anyone could look at them with a sense of longing or whatever you want to call it, the ol' biological clock. When I look at kids it just makes me tired. Running around. Put that down. Pick that up. Don't climb on that. Don't jump off of that. Take that out of your mouth/ear/nose! I'm glad I have enough self awareness to know that I do not have the patience, desire, or selflessness needed to have a child. The cat is enough of a handful! She barfed on the couch today.

Attack of the Dino Kale

2009-03-20T12:49:00.000-07:00

Here's a recipe that everyone seems to love, which I reverse engineered from a dish tried at our favorite restaurant, Animal. We served this at my birthday dinner, and guests lurved it. I've made it for friends a number of times since then.

Kale Salad

A day old crusty roll or hunk of day old baguette

One large or two medium sized bunches of Dino Kale: aka Cavolo Nero (they definitely have this at Whole Foods or your local Farmer's market)

One lemon

Olive oil

Salt

Pepper

Garlic Powder

Parmesan

1. Pre-heat oven to 350. Cut bread into cubes (medium crouton size) and spread on a cookie sheet (or even a cast iron skillet would work.) Splash a little olive oil on them. Sprinkle salt, pepper, and garlic powder on them. Smush around with your hands until they're coated. Put in oven for roughly 7 minutes. Check on them and shake them around in the cookie sheet/pan to check their crispy/brownness. I like to bake mine until they're pretty golden and toasted. That usually requires another 8-9 minutes. Keep peeking at them until their the desired toastiness. When they're to your crisp preference, remove from oven and let cool.

2. Wash kale thoroughly. Cut off spines, and cut leaves into strips. I usually put my kale salad ingredients right into a Tupperware, which makes it easier to toss, and subtracts one less dish from the washing queue.

3. Squeeze half lemon over kale. Add two tablespoons of olive oil. Toss. Taste. Add more oil or lemon to your liking. Add a pinch or two of salt and pepper, and a good shake of garlic powder. Toss. Taste.

4. I usually run my croutons through the food processor to make crouton crumbs, but if you want bigger hunks, put the croutons into a bag and smash with the bottom of a glass or the flat end of a meat tenderizer. Add crouton crumbs to kale.

5. Grate a good hunk of parmesan cheese over kale and crumbs. No real measurement. I adore parmesan and eat it at least once a day, so I'm sure I'd add more than most people. Whatever your preference is. If you're putting this all into a Tupperware, put the lid on securely, and give it a good shake so everything gets mixed in.

6. Enjoy!

back in the saddle again

2009-02-13T14:03:00.001-08:00

Yes, it's been a ridiculously long time since I've last updated. Things have been rather hectic. The holidays were wonderful: very relaxing, and not to chilly. T surprised me with a bounty of thoughtful and generous gifts, and I was able to spend ten days with my folks, which was awesome. I really dig Indianapolis; it's a very cool/unique town. A good blend of modern and classic arcitecture, a lot of sculpture, and reverence for nature. Three good traits for a town I'd say.Since being back, I've been focusing on what I call the "Three W's": writing, wealth building, and weight loss. I've been more successful with the latter two, as work has kept me busy, unfortunately, but I'm finding the time to write where I can. I have also taken up oil painting. Below are my two completed works. A portrait of a lion in a suit, and a portrait I did of my father for his birthday. It's based on a photo, also below, that I think might have been taken for a passport or something?

I also had an astonishingly good bargain hunting run last weekend. Using my AMX gift card, which was my work bonus, I purchased a stunning Marc Jacobs (not Marc by Marc Jacobs. But Marc Jacobs...) jacket/blazer. Normally $1,895.00. I got it for $199.00. A 90% discount. Jaw droppingly beautiful Prada shoes, normally $700.00. I got them for $199.00. And to top it off I got a Cynthia Vincent top for $89, normally $298, and Trovata pants for $14, normally $75. It was quite an excursion, but extremely victorious! I love a farcical bargain. The jacket, below, is an icy blue, not the black in the photo. I couldn't find a photo of the jacket in the color I got. And the photo of the shoes is not one that I took, but I couldn't find a better pic online.

Rod and Steel Parts 1 and 2 ROUGH CUTS

2008-12-07T17:48:00.000-08:00

friends, romans, countrymen

2008-11-25T22:20:00.001-08:00

It's raining. I think it's rained, maybe, five times this year, maybe. This is a pretty steady rain. No mist or spittle. Showers are expected tomorrow as well.

I just read this article about "the world's most expensive, most beautiful new book. Valued at well over $100,000, a 62-pound handmade tome depicting the life and work of Michelangelo." The cover of the books is made from marble from Michelangelo's favorite quarry. I'd like to have a favorite quarry. How can anyone be certain that it's his favorite quarry. He might've fluctuated. Sometimes I think X is my favorite restaurant or Y is my favorite store, and then I'll have a bad experience (bathroom out of hand towels/bad service or pushy salesperson/fellow customers who carry dogs in their handbags) and it will turn me off for awhile. What I mean is, maybe this was one of his favorite quarries, but maybe it wasn't his FAVORITE quarry.

Anyway. Michelangelo. David. Jesus. When we were in Italy we went one evening, maybe around 6pm. It was essentially empty. I've seen other people's photos of David, and there always seems to be a large crowd around him. T and I could walk around David and marvel as long as we wanted. I would highly recommend going during their evening hours. He's big. Bigger than you might expect. He seems big in pictures, but when you're standing right next to him, he seems bigger. Not in a muscular/towering way (although he's very tall,) but more in a larger than life way. He's so perfect and casual, it's really baffling that he's man made. It's amazing that all of that stuff is man made/hand carved.

In other news, I've really been enjoying the new MTV website. I can actually watch videos! And only watch the ones I want! It's about time...

Men's Sandals

2008-11-23T22:32:00.000-08:00

Men's sandals are hideous.

image source.

The Cos

2008-11-21T21:33:00.000-08:00

I've been watching a lot of The Cosby Show. A lot. I love it; it's one of my favorite shows. It is also a very underrated show. The Cos, of course, is wacky and hilarious; his rubbery contorting faces and voices that use an abundance of elongated vowels are genuinely silly-funny. Claire is poised and elegant while maintaining her no-nonsense lawyerly attitude, and one is always impressed with how well she manipulates Cliff by using her womanly charm. The kids are great. The acting is consistently pretty great, (sometimes there will be an overacting kid; however, the acting goes beyond the dialogue, and there is a great deal of behavior) and the cameos are awesome. The singing, the dancing, the incredibly elaborate "lessons."

Cliff and Claire have such an organic chemistry, you totally buy that she'd be married to him, weird voices and all. It's rare to find a TV sitcom couple's chemistry even come close to C&C Huxtable. And it's also rare for sitcoms to have children in them (particularly children who aren't entitled or irritating.) Sure, The Cosby Show is sometimes corny and the last few seasons with cousin Pam was tired, but the first three fourths of the episodes are vastly entertaining. Think of all the hoagies, and the episode with Muppet Puppets, and all the horrible raps that Theo performed. Plus Adam Sandler and the episode where Theo tried to take a helicopter to the prom. Or the one where Vanessa gets drunk, and Claire tells her to "chug a-lug like you did last night." And the sweaters! Sweet Jesus.

Novel

2008-11-06T21:55:00.000-08:00

After a couple days off (election and whatnot) I'm finally caught up on my Na.No.Wri.Mo.

So far, so good.

PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA

2008-11-05T00:47:00.001-08:00

yes.

I Done Did My Civic Duty

2008-11-04T14:45:00.000-08:00

I woke up at 6 this morning. It was raining. I threw on some clothes and drove to my polling place, which was to open at 7. After driving in circles for over twenty minutes in an attempt to find a legal parking spot, I got in a relatively short line (I was maybe the 30th or so person in line.) I'd brought my ipod, but it was much more fun to listen to the buzz of the crowd. Everyone was in a cheery mood, optimistic, sort of electric. People were texting friends, and talking to each other in line. It was thrilling to cast my vote for President Obama.

I hope, and expect, that you all have voted. I understand why people vote early, but that seems to take the fun out of it. I know I'm lucky, living in a large city with many poll locations and a lot of booths at each locale, but standing in line, participating in choosing the leader of our country, is a blast. I'd be singing a different tune if I had to wait in line for eight hours. But you know, I'd do it. I would wait in line eight hours to vote. I'm not an exceptionally patriotic or nostalgic person, but voting is a really incredible right that we generally take for granted, and I'm proud, and tickled even, to be able to exercise that right.

The day is eking by at an excruciatingly slow pace.

Tomorrow's the Day!

2008-11-03T16:34:00.000-08:00

Word Count:4338

Novel writing has thus far been progressing rather nicely. I hope I don't get too terribly behind tomorrow because of the election. I'll probably have to absorbed those unwritten pages into my daily totals for the rest of the week. I'm going to try and get ahead a little this evening so's not to get behind.

Ah the election. My favorite polling website, fivethirtyeight.com, shows McNasty's odds of winning at a delightful 1.9% I look forward to reclaiming parts of my brain that have been rented out to campaign coverage and my crippling news addiction. Jesus, if I feel this lost, what will Keith Olbermann do? Well, once Sarah Palin gets her Fox news show in 2010 (I wonder if she'd resign as governor to be on TV?) he'll be all over that. I look forward to the results of her other ethics investigation. Actually, scratch that. I look forward to never hearing about her again. I know that's implausible, but what a divine idea. She should take those poor children back to Alaska and get them out of the spotlight, particularly the down syndrome prop baby.

I had an incredibly productive bachelorette weekend. I got about 15 pages of my script done, and about 15 pages of my novel. I sang to the cat a lot. I also made lentil soup and worked on my painting. And I went out with friends for vegetarian Indian food (I had the glorious "Punjab Glory" and a Yeti beer) and a show (She and Him at the Wiltern.) We were really yukkin it up. It's pretty amazing how you forget how your brain works when you live with someone else. I really enjoyed my own company; we should do it again sometime.

Image Source

The Honorable Diana Ross Presiding

2008-11-03T01:19:00.000-08:00

I think Conservatives will never overturn Roe v. Wade. It's the carrot they dangle in front of Christian conservatives. What do they have without that?

Also, I was just thinking that it'd be funny to have a Supremes cover band called the Supreme Court, and everyone would dress as Supremes in judge's robes.

PS:

2008-11-03T01:02:00.000-08:00

I'm 3,361 words into my novel. I'm going to talk about it in words, like parents of small children who speak in weeks and months.

Purity Balls

2008-11-03T00:24:00.000-08:00

I'm watching this mind numbingly fucked up television show on TLC called "Purity Balls." It's about parents who make their daughters take chastity pledges. These girls don't hold hands or kiss guys before marriage. One "ceremony"(?) involves ballet scarf dancing around a wooden cross. And a father just admitted that he has nine children from seven women, but he still wants his kids to be "pure." Another father spoke creepily about what a great thing it is for his daughter to only kiss one man in her lifetime. What the fuck does he know? What right does he have to make that choice? You make a five year old take a chastity pledge before they actually know what that entails, that is fucked up. The parents have to interview any guys who want to date these girls.

The interviewer asked one young lady what happens if the guy she marries turns out to be a bad kisser. The girl had a "Does Not Compute" reaction. "No, No. I'm sure he'll be a good kisser. Nuh-uh. I know I'll like it." These kids have kissing, and sex, and HAND HOLDING hyped up so much that nothing will ever live up to their expectations. And they're so uneducated about sex that if they do actually get laid they'll probably get pregnant. (There's a girl who got knocked up on here, talking about how she and a male chastity pledger just couldn't help themselves. It just happened. And they prayed. And apparently that didn't work because they kept having sex, and since neither of them probably had a clue about contraception, she got pregnant.)

That kind of monogamy is scary. And it's creepy that it's being so aggressively forced on these kids by their repentant fathers.

"The answer to everything is always prayer."

Here's why "intelligent design" or "creationism" or whatever you want to call it, is dangerous. Once one impossible scientific "theory" is introduced into education, then more creepy things like purity balls could start being forced on children. One woman has had seven children and five miscarriages. She has been pregnant TWELVE TIMES. That is unnecessary. No one needs twelve children. Kids who grow up in those swiss family robinson families do not have fairytale childhoods.

These girls get all tarted up for this ball. Slinky dresses, makeup, updos. These guys probably ask to see the sheets on their daughter's wedding night. This is one reason why extremist countries have horrible equality rights for women, because they're being controlled by men who are afraid of, or ashamed of, sex. You put this huge decisions on little girls who don't know any better, who just want to make Dad happy, and they agree to give up the right to experience life. I mean, you can even take sex out of the equation here, really, not letting someone hold hands? Get out of here. In what looks like a cruel move, the classical music is being played at this ball by pimply teenage boys. This seems like a conspiracy to breed young baby machines in order to recruit more troo...oopsie! I mean parishioners.

Once again, may I mention, that this is incredibly fucked up.

Image Source

Come on Vanessa. Chug-a-lug Like You Did Last Night.

2008-11-02T00:34:00.000-07:00

Clair Huxtable is awesome.

I'm Writing a Novel.

2008-10-29T20:32:00.000-07:00

So I've decided to try my hand at NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) beginning November 1st. They suggest averaging 1,667 words a day in order to attain the 50,000 word goal by the 30th. Apparently that's longer than Animal Farm, which really isn't a very long novel. More of a novella.

Feel free to shame me into writing so I don't end November with a half written novel. Teasing and prodding is more than welcome.

Two Cents (or Three, or Four...)

2008-10-28T11:38:00.000-07:00

I am rapt with anticipation. The election will be over in a week, and I think I'll need to take a few days off to decompress/gather my thoughts/celebrate (hopefully)/get back on track. My life/writing/painting/projects/etc. have been thrown off kilter because of my obsessive tracking of the news. The insanity must end! (And it will, next Tuesday.)

I am particularly struck by the sexism banter in regards to the devil's mistress, Sarah Palin. Mostly because both sides, and everyone in between, seem to be throwing out that term willy nilly when it really shouldn't apply. Sarah Palin, who fluctuates from considering herself a feminist (when in the presence of Katie Couric) and not wanting to "label" herself (when in the presence of McNasty,) is no feminist. You can't have things both ways. If you want to be equal to men, you can't expect them to been "reverent" of you whenever it's convenient. Yes, we ladies do have to do everything "twice as well to be considered half as good." But Palin doesn't even strive for that. She seems to be content in her mediocrity, and expects everyone to bend over backwards with respect. That she revels in her ignorance is frightening and unconscionable. She prides herself in her lack of interest, her distrust of the rest of the world, and her loathing for learning. Palin is a woman who is threatened by what she doesn't know (which explains why she embraces Evangelical beliefs: all of her questions can be answered by assuming god knows best) and therefore shuns any open dialogue. People who are disinterested are scary. Complacency does not belong in the White House!

Voting for Palin because she has a vagina is just as misguided as voting against Obama because he's black. These things have absolutely nothing to do with politics. And I agree wholeheartedly with Colin Powell. Who cares if Obama was Muslim? (even though he isn't) Lest we forget that this country was founded initially because of a desire for religious freedom and the separation of church and state. I'd rather have a moderate Muslim as president that a crazy Evangelical. I don't want anyone to tell me that I should believe in a god, or that fetuses are people (they aren't,) or that creationism dressed in the "intelligent design" costume is a legitimate scientific theory. (Side note: churches have a shitload of money. Why don't they employ creationism believing scientists (that seems like an oxymoron, even though I'm sure a handful exist) to research intelligent design, if they're so sure it exists?) I have a right be secular and have infinite abortions and believe in actual science if I want, according to the Constitution, and I refuse to let some moose mutilating, lactating charlatan tell me otherwise!

food

2008-10-27T11:01:00.000-07:00

Fine. I admit it. I'm a foodie. I have a special reverence for thoughtfully prepared food. Now, I'm not talking about gorging on Cool Ranch Doritos or mini bagel pizzas. No.

Saturday T and I had dinner at a restaurant called Animal (it's on Fairfax.) We'd heard a review for Animal on NPR's Good Food program last weekend, and it was so intriguing we immediately made reservations. Animal is unmarked, and, from the outside, fairly unremarkable. The menu varies every few days, with a few staples remaining. The staff was attentive and engaging. Normally I think it's creepy when a waiter sits down to talk to you, but these guys were funny and familiar without being overbearing. We couldn't decide between two wines, and they brought out (rather generous) samples to help us decide.

It is a very meaty restaurant (hence the name Animal) but not in an intimidating chop house way. We started with fried hominy with fresh lime (amazing) and burrata with beets, golden raisins, capers, and pine nuts with a teeny drizzle of olive oil and salt and pepper (faint-worthy. I adore burrata, and this was on par with some we ate in Rome.) Another appetizer on the menu was foie gras with a biscuit and gravy. I was tempted, but didn't want to overdo it. That will have to wait for next time.

T ordered a steak with sunchokes and chanterelles (he hates mushrooms but ate every chanterelle morsel) and I had the fried quail with grits, chard, and slab bacon. The quail was like the most fabulous fried chicken imaginable, and eating it (with my hands, of course!) was reminiscent of Tom Hanks in Big nibbling on the baby corn. I always know when T and I are basking in the effects of a meal when the conversation ceases. I think we were silent for nearly half an hour. There are a few meals that I can recall that left me euphoric, almost high. This meal would certainly be included in that short list. Dessert was a jar of chocolate pudding/mousse and a mindblowing biscuit/shortcake with strawberries and fresh whipped cream. I was ready to return for dinner again Sunday. And Monday. But of course, meals like that stop being so mind blowing if they're constantly repeated.

The rub here is that I'm trying to slim down to my post Italy size, which is certainly do-able. But I can't live life eating steamed vegetable and grilled chicken every day (some days, but not every day.) My weaknesses aren't junk food. They're cheese, pestos, breads, chocolates, croissants. Life is short. Sometimes it feels long, but it's really just a blip in time. Enjoying life, to me, means indulging (not over indulging) your senses. No one listens to music they hate, or watches movies/television they despise. To me, food is the same thing. Why would I force myself to ingest food I don't enjoy? Every meal doesn't have to be earth shattering. Some meals are certainly utilitarian. But there has to be a happy medium in here somewhere...

Image Source

YEOWZA

2008-10-06T15:03:00.001-07:00

I saw Religulous this weekend. It was hilarious and chilling.

As an agnostic/atheist, I am, obviously, the sort of person one would expect to see such a film. It is unfortunate, though, that the people who most need to see the movie most likely never will. I'd venture to guess that I've been consciously agnostic/atheist since at least high school. Growing up we went to a smorgasbord of Lutheran churches. When I was in elementary school it was fun. You get to go to Sunday school, which is just a lot of singing and coloring and listening to stories. (side note: I remember one time a Sunday school teacher told us to put our little hands together to pray, and I told her that I didn't have little hands.) But once I had to actually pay attention in church, waking up early, getting dressed nicely, listening to sermons, and going to confirmation (I think it was confirmation...) got to be a real drag.

Going to church when you aren't interested in it is like being dragged to a monster truck rally when you have no interest in monster trucks, or the opera when you have no interest in the opera. You can never really determine why, exactly, anyone would be so passionate about monster trucks, or opera, or Jesus, and so you feign (maybe) interest, or go through the motions, or pout. Or, most likely, a combination of the three.

Bill Maher made a comment, which I will paraphrase since I cannot recall precisely what he said, about how not believing in god is a luxury. I guess I would have to concur. It makes sense, in a way, that people in prison, or people who are sick and close to death, would turn to religion to have peace of mind, or guidance, or whatever. But I simply cannot wrap my head around the prevalent belief in god, and religion in general. I get why it exists, but I do not understand why people insist on perpetuating it.

First of all, the majority of people have not read the text of their faith in its entirety. Secondly, they tend to pick and choose what to believe and what not to believe. And tangentially, what to take literally, and what not to take literally. I am currently reading "The Year of Living Biblically" by A.J. Jacobs. In it he attempts to follow rules from the bible as literally as possible without breaking any laws. I have only just begun, but it raises the question, why can you discount some things in the bible as being relevant only to the time in which it was written? There are a lot of wacky rules in there, like not sitting anywhere a menstruating woman has sat and not eating honey and etc etc etc. Why are those less important than rules about praying or thinking homosexuality is sinful? I the argument is that the bible was written a long time ago (relatively) and our knowledge has changed since then, then wouldn't that make nearly everything in there suspect? It's like knowing someone is a liar; do you disbelieve everything they say? or just pick and choose?

The idea of god makes no sense to me. No sense at all. I simply cannot make myself believe in something that I am positive is fake. I mean, unicorns and griffins and El Chupacabra would be awesome, if they were real, but even if I wanted them to exist, they still don't. The idea of an all knowing, all powerful guy who makes/lets people suffer and manages to find the time to talk to/listen to everyone who talks to him is so ridiculous. Why is science not enough? Believing in god seems so lazy. "I don't have the answers, and I don't want to look for them or learn anything, so I'll just explain everything I don't know by saying that it's god's plan, and he's so much smarter, and he works in mysterious ways." Bullshit. Just because science can't explain everything now doesn't mean that eventually it won't be able to. Look at all the things we've learned in the last one hundred years. Knowledge is exponential. Perhaps if we spent less time worshipping a non-existent deity, we could spend more time working on science and technology. Religion leaves humanity stagnant; science and reason propel us forward.

As a secularist, there's no god or religion to hide your resentments behind. That isn't to say we aren't shallow, vain, or generally fans of schadenfreude (we certainly are: myself included in that last one.) But when you can't hide behind god's pant leg you are forced to examine why you dislike/hate/look down on people instead of just dismissing it as "well god hates gays/jews/blacks/fill in the blank." No. You really just hate gays/jews/blacks/fill in the blank. Don't blame this on god. I mean, I love The Catcher in the Rye. Holden Caulfield is a great character, but I don't go around justifying my distaste for phonies on the basis that Holden Caulfield hates them, so I should too.

And the smugness of people who think that they're better than you because they're "going to heaven" really cooks my goose. Not just cooks it, but boils it, roasts it, and throws it in the turkey fryer (I hear fried turkeys are really delicious, by the way...) Learn something! Read a book! If you're going to put your faith and your life in god's nonexistent hands, read up on it! Be responsible. When you buy a car you aren't supposed to just buy the first car that you see. You shop around, you compare prices, you find out if no money down is really no money down, you read the fine print. Obviously our country is filled with people who do not read the fine print: hence contributing to our economic problems.

There is more to rant about, but my point is this: these people scare the crap out of me. I'm outnumbered! We secularists need to get together, Atlas Shrugged style, and build an enclave where we can live peacefully and logically without crazy people who think they hear the voice of god running our fucking country. We need our own country! Hearing voices, speaking in tongues, communicating to someone who does not exist, these are signs of insanity! We secularists need to grow a pair and raise our logical voices, because if we don't, it will be to the detriment of everyone.

old timey self portraits.

2008-09-16T14:01:00.000-07:00

Sad

2008-09-14T11:40:00.000-07:00

My favorite writer, David Foster Wallace, killed himself yesterday. I've never genuinely felt sad when someone notable died. But this makes me very melancholy.

The first book of his I read was also his most challenging. Infinite Jest is over 1,000 pages long and has nearly as many footnotes. I read it on a dare. Someone from college said that they'd never met anyone who had finished the book, so I accepted the challenge. I bought the book the day before summer vacation, and lugged it from New York to Memphis to Los Angeles. As I interned out here I read Infinite Jest on my free time. People would ask me what it was about, and I'd be at a loss for words. ("There's a family...and people in rehab....and wheelchair bound Canadians...

") Even after finishing the book there is no real way to describe it. Infinite Jest reminds me in a way of David Lynch films. However, with David Lynch, I always feel like he intentionally draws you into one story just to obliterate it completely about an hour later while he cackles to himself about how he continues this bait and switch, finally leaving you confused but left with a feeling. Infinite Jest leaves you with a feeling, but even as things get wackier and wackier, contrary to a David Lynch film, you are actually delighted with the end. Definitely influenced by films of the 60's and 70's, let alone probably everything else in pop/consumer culture.

I love David Foster Wallace's writing because he seems like a fellow observer. Sure, you can go through life as a writer learning from and getting influences from other people's books. But the gift of observation, which as I get older, I really think is exceptionally rare and I'm lucky to be blessed with, makes stories and writing and characters and that final feeling you're left with at the end of a book or film or album or artwork so much richer. There are many people I look up to and would probably enjoy meeting, but David Foster Wallace was someone I idolized, and meeting him seemed like it would've been such a learning experience. It's not like shaking hands with Mick Jagger (which of course would be awesome.) Life is so short and so strange, and to find someone who's oeuvre is so in synch with what I find funny or interesting or note-worthy, is such a treat. As a writer, he was so stratospheric, so brilliant, that there was no reason to be jealous of his abilities because you were just so blessed to be able to read what he wrote, there was no question that no one could write like him, and there is no training or method to attain that level of talent. Some people are so mind blowingly remarkable that all you can do is be thankful that they exist so you can see, first hand, the potential of the human mind.

I could go on and on but I fear I'll digress into corniness, if I haven't already.

Read Infinite Jest. Or, if it's too intimidating, read The Broom of the System, or Oblivion, or Brief Interviews with Hideous Men, or the Girl with Curious Hair. Or any of his other books.

Update

2008-08-25T11:13:00.000-07:00

Sorry for nearly two months off of the blog, but the past nearly two months have been pretty shitty. Work, jury duty, in laws, illness. I haven't been able to work on my script let alone blog anything. I will update soon.

cat fur

2008-07-05T18:27:00.000-07:00

The fourth of July is a drinking holiday, much like Labor Day, Memorial Day, and New Year's. Actually, almost every holiday is a drinking holiday. Thanksgiving. Valentine's Day. I'd say Halloween and maybe Christmas (depending on who you're celebrating with) are not drinking holidays.

My fourth of July was fun but tame. Went to my friend P's for a BBQ. He courteously provided turkey burgers, which I most certainly appreciate. I can always tell if someone is a good friend/host if they provide options. People like options.

Today I cleaned and vacuumed the bedroom. Since it's summer, the cat sheds an obscene amount. When I emptied the vacuum, there was almost another cat's worth of fur. Yikes.

Currently I am reading this book called "The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins. If you ever watch Countdown with Keith Olbermann you may have seen him before. The older I get, the less I can pretend to still believe in God. It just goes against everything that makes sense. There are things I cannot wrap my brain around. People who have a problem with gay marriage (how will that ever ever ever affect you?) People who have a problem with abortion (how will that ever ever ever affect you?) And God. Needless to say, I am enjoying this book. BBQ friend P also leant me "In Defense of Food" by Michael Pollan (the guy who wrote "The Omnivore's Dilemma" i.e. the corn book.) I am looking foward to reading that. Maybe I'll do a tandem read. I hate keeping books for a long time.

Also, Thursday T and I watched Swingtown. I loathe to admit it, but I really liked it. I think I dig period shows (Freaks and Geeks, Mad Men, Swingtown...) What's so surprising about the show is that it isn't just sex stuff (there was very little about it in this episode actually) but there's a lot of stuff about (then) current events. It takes place in 1976 so there's all this stuff about the Bicentennial, Harry Reems, malaise-worthy Jimmy Carter, etc.

Juice

2008-06-30T15:16:00.000-07:00

Friday was a very surreal day. T got laid off, which sucks, obviously.

Also, we had been invited to what we thought was a party by a friend of mine, L, who I haven't seen in about two or three years. I asked T if he still wanted to go, considering the day's previous event. He insisted we go, so we drove nearly an hour, past Pasadena and Arcadia to Monrovia. As we got out of the car, a guy in a purple t-shirt that said "Mona Vie" asked us if we were going to the "tasting party." My bullshit detector starting going off immediately.

We got inside and sat down. It looked party-like. Snacks on a table. But, wait! A stack of boxes that looked like they had wine in them was stacked in front of the fireplace. Oh well, I like wine. I thought, maybe it'll be a wine tasting party. If L wants to sell wine to make a buck, whatever.

As more people came into the living room, someone handed us a book and suggested we check it out. Photos of smiling middle aged white couples in front of ATVs and convertibles were on every page, along with pics of gold watches and yachts. The testimonials were vague and mentioned God a lot. I turned to T and said "What have we gotten ourselves into?"

Then we were made to watch an 8 minute video about "Mona Vie." I will spare you the details, but basically it's a fruit juice and it's main ingredient (allegedly) is the acai berry. If you've ever been to a Robeks or a Jamba Juice, you'll know that the acai is the new pomegranate. You know, a "miracle fruit" that has shitload of antioxidants. The video went on to talk about how the "Mona Vie" people did all this research and made this amazing, life changing fruit juice that gives you energy and has 13 servings of fruit in 2 oz. and blah blah blah. Oh, they also have an "active" version, which is the regular kind but with glucosamine.

After the video we were escorted to the backyard to listen to L's cousin give a 30 minute speech/seminar about the fabulous pyramid scheme of "Mona Vie." Complete with visual aids. The cousin actually quit his job to work these juice parties. Essentially you pay $40 to get signed up and have your online account opened, and then you order the juice by the case. You then try and sucker your friends to sign up and sucker their friends and on and on because you get a residual from those purchases. The best part? The juice costs $45 a bottle.

And it is disgusting. It tastes like pureed pie filling.

There is no nutritional label on the bottle, and the company will not divulge that information. My guess is that it's filled with artificial flavoring, sugar, and preservatives.

Some 23 year old kid who got roped into this crap(he started almost every sentence with "I'm 23 years old and...") got up said "with the economy the way it is, I want something secure to fall back on." Oh yeah, people really want to throw $45 away on fruit juice. He goes on to say "Some people think this is a pyramid scheme. But your job is a pyramid scheme! You work to make money for the guy on top!"

What's really amusing about all this is after we escaped and spent an hour driving home, we googled "Mona Vie" and found a bunch of message boards where people spouted the same lingo and excuses as this guy. It's just unfortunate that this product preys on people two biggest fears, money and health. It's obviously not FDA approved. It can't make any real claims, but it does insinuate a lot.

Anyway, I can't be friends with L anymore. It's bad enough he's unwittingly involved in this, but he also tricked us into coming over by saying it was a party and then ambushed us with a sales pitch.

Finally

2008-06-24T22:17:00.000-07:00

At 10:23 pm on June 24, Meghan Leon finally gave birth to her script. After nearly a month of labor the baby is finally out. Weighing in at a healthy 125 pages (I know, I know. I can't help it!) this charmer has been named "Swimming Upstream." After a trip home it will be registered with the WGA and will then be ready for viewing.

hollywood bowl

2008-06-23T23:33:00.000-07:00

Last night T and I went to the Hollywood Bowl. We were expecting Seu Jorge to be one of the openers, as it was advertised "Special Guest Seu Jorge." The headliners were Thievery Corporation, which isn't really the sort of band I'd normally be interested in seeing, but it turns out that Seu Jorge was a "special guest" of T.C. and just came out to sing with them for two songs. Lame. Bebel Gilberto was one of the openers and she was fantastic. We packed sandwiches from Doughboys and a couple of bottles of wine and brought along our friend John (who replaced my friend Stephanie because she had to work, sadly.) The crowd was ripe for people watching. A lot of plump women in gauzy dresses and skinny men with straw hats. A lot of dancing/swaying. It seemed like everyone had wine, and as we were leaving and walking down Highland to the parking lot, some chick kept weaving in front of me, wobbling and falling into me a couple times. She was alone, which probably means she drove herself home, which is very reassuring.

All I can say is that this upcoming weekend better not be so ferociously hot.

Scary

2008-06-20T13:34:00.000-07:00

So it's been almost a month since I posted last. I've been working religiously on my latest script, and it's been fairly uneventful. However, I'm about a day away from being done with my script (huzzah!) and I plan on jumping right into the next one (I realized that momentum killers are sure death to my creativity. I just have to keep moving.)

Let's see...more proof that corn is bad: T and I started feeding Ella (the cat) a new type of cat food called Wellness. It does not, like most other pet foods (including Science Diet, which is what we used to feed her) contain corn. It may have some corn based preservatives, but no actual corn in it. Since the switch, she's been increasingly playful, active, and energetic. The only change has been the food, so I gotta say, it must be the lack of corn.

And in political news, every time I see John McCain I think he looks more and more like Frankenstein with a comb over.

yes.

2008-05-28T23:11:00.000-07:00

I miss the old days when they used to actually crash cars in movies. Like The Blues Brothers.

diamondoids

2008-05-26T22:35:00.000-07:00

The new Smithsonian magazine has an article about a company that makes diamonds. I mean, they make diamonds from scratch. And they're basically indistinguishable from real diamonds. I guess, technically, they ARE real diamonds. But what's so cool about real real diamonds, and gem stones in general, is how long it takes for them to be naturally constructed. How they're basically cooked in the earth.

I vote nay on the man made diamonds, except for, like, lasers and stuff.

Productivity

2008-05-23T11:44:00.000-07:00

First few days at "the office" have proven to be incredibly productive: 54 pages and counting. Knowing how I work once the momentum has begun, I'll probably finish this bad boy (tentatively titled "Swimming Upstream," although there's already a film of that title but it's about swimming and mine is about sperm) this weekend. I'm definitely more motivated to write when I'm paying for my office space.

Tomorrow the cemetery screenings begin with Billy Wilder's Ace in the Hole. I adore Billy Wilder, he's one of my heroes. I just hope it doesn't rain tomorrow!

In other news, I'm really tired of friends "double booking."

Fresh Air

2008-05-19T11:28:00.000-07:00

I signed up for a membership at this place, BlankSpaces. It's basically empty office space, and you come by and work at a desk or a table or an office. It's air conditioned (which was a welcomed perk considering this week's weather.) And it's within walking distance of my apartment. I have been unable to write at home. Too many distraction, too hot. We don't have an office or a second bedroom or something and so it's easy to get sidetracked by T or the cat or books/magazines/tv/etc. Virginia Woolf was right, you do need a room of one's own. Or at least a desk, 20 hours a week.

I'm not into self help books, I generally think they're a waste of time because they just serve up common sense as a groundbreaking idea. However, I got this book, The War of Art, which was a quick read and a decent book. Definitely common sense, but sometimes you just need a dose of that. The author basically said that with any artistic endeavor, if you want to eventually do it full time, you have to think of it as a job. You have to have set hours, you have to show up on time and produce, even if it's an exercise in futility. Doing something, even if it's horrid, is still better than just talking about doing something.

So now I have my "office." And for about 20 hours a week I will be working my second job: writing. I can't make the same mistake I made last time, which was taking a "breather" after finishing my last script. I'll just have to jump onto the next one. Breaking momentum has proven fatal for my productivity.

And did I mention my office has air conditioning?

Huh.

2008-05-15T22:43:00.000-07:00

I saw this ad today.

Weird.

stamps

2008-05-09T13:34:00.000-07:00

The postal service, which has a monopoly on mail, is raising the price of stamps yet again. It seems like a vicious cycle, they raise the prices, people send less stuff. People send less stuff, so they have the raise the prices. I don't know how people pay bills through the mail instead of online. It would probably wind up being an additional five dollars a month on postage alone.

People don't send letters anymore. People don't even write lengthy emails anymore, for the most part. Maybe it's because we (well, not myself so much, but the "royal we") spend so much time talking to people on cell phones, and texting, that there isn't much left to say in a letter or even an email. I think we're becoming more impulsive, which is why there are so many photos of drunk girls on the internet. It seemed like a good idea (from what I can remember) at the time...

Here's a haiku about postage:

Price hike is bitter.

It's almost more disgusting

than licking a stamp.

yes

2008-05-08T21:37:00.000-07:00

I was thinking I

would try to write a haiku

every day next week.

Hrmm

2008-05-07T22:08:00.000-07:00

I put almost as much time into picking the photo as I do writing these posts. I did a search for binoculars and this was the best one. Everything about this picture is right. The faces, the poses, the framing, the mustaches.

It's weird. FX is playing Rent right now. I can't tell if they shot on location or not, but it makes me very nostalgic for New York. The movie is bad. Really bad. I think awhile ago someone had the erroneous idea that trying to slyly work musical numbers into films constitutes a musical. To me a musical isn't just a movie with singing; it's elaborate, with dance numbers and feathers and hundreds of unnecessary extras. Not just angsty 90's New Yorkers unnaturally singing in a real or not real street with real or not real snow sprinkling on them.

It's weird. I like L.A. but I don't really feel home here. I felt at home in NY. And I even felt at home in Italy, mainly Rome. I really miss being a pedestrian. I like being surrounded by people. I like watching and listening to strangers. I love overhearing conversations. I don't always enjoy interacting with people. I prefer observing. I think I'd rather sit in a park and people watch for an hour than talk on the phone for an hour with a friend. I guess that's kind of fucked up.

Whoa.

2008-05-03T20:55:00.000-07:00

I would've posted earlier this week, but Monday night/Tuesday morning I was hit with a horrible and painful case of either food poisoning or a strange flu-like illness. In addition to the usual nasty symptoms I also had this unrelenting crampy, sharp yet dull pain in my right side. Having perused WebMD many times, like any good neurotic, I remembered that one's appendix is on the right side of the body, and of course, I freaked out. My symptoms were pretty similar, except that my side didn't hurt to touch. After an abysmal night Travis took me to the doctor, who had no idea what it was, but was pretty sure it wasn't appendicitis. She sent me home with the reassuring words "If it gets worse, go to the ER."

I like my doctor. But who knows with doctors? How do you really know you've got a good one? I mean, she was right about it not being appendicitis. I went home, tried to nap, ate Mrs. Grass' chicken noodle soup, drank ginger ale, and around 4pm I took a Tylenol. Now, I'm typically an ibuprofen kind of girl. I try not to take them regularly, but if I have a painful pain, one ibuprofen hits the spot. The Tylenol, I figured, is significantly better on the stomach, and is also an anti-inflammatory. It was a rough night, but at around 4:30 am, I realized the weird pain was gone. Wednesday I recovered from being horribly dehydrated.

My doctor's office is in Cedars. On the top floor. It sucks having to get on an elevator, when you can barely stand up, with at least three hugely pregnant women, a lot of elderly couples, and nurses with themed scrubs (palm trees and surfboards, teddy bears, Snoopy.) I was having flashbacks of my freshman year in college when I got stuck in an elevator (that had maximum capacity at 7 (seven) people) with 11 (eleven) other people, including a girl who had nervous hiccups and wanted to have a Tori Amos singalong. That lasted for over an hour.

I was relieved when I arrived at the top floor in mere minutes.

Last night T and I went to Lou for dinner. It's this funky/mid-century modern wine bar in a strip mall next to a laundromat. They have a unique, constantly changing wine list, and really tasty food, using locally grown seasonal produce. They almost always have burrata with prosciutto and either kumqats or blood oranges. Burrata blows my mind. It's this spectacular mozzarella. I highly recommend it.

hosiery

2008-04-28T21:55:00.000-07:00

I love this chick's face. It's a very unnatural mix of excitement and a stifled "smelling dog poop" face. Her hair is very fluffy, and she's daintily holding her stockings. Isn't life great?

I do not understand the garter toss in weddings. I was looking at a friend's Flickr site and he had posted some wedding pics. People dancing in formal wear is hilarious. Unflattering bridal photos are fabulous. But the garter toss is lame-o.

Also, if you've met me once or twice, you probably know that I hate the word "s'mores." It's a nonsense made up word that is textishly abbreviated. The snack/dessert themselves happen to be delicious, but the name is a real turn off.

Corn Free-Week Wrap Up

2008-04-26T19:42:00.000-07:00

Friday was relatively uneventful. Cereal and strawberries for breakfast. Veggie sandwich with hummus for lunch. Pasta for dinner.

Okay, to wrap up. The week was great (minus Wednesday's lunch fiasco.) After the first day I didn't even think about wanting snacks or sweets or anything. It's bizarre how so much of that is habit/boredom/corn.

I seriously think we've become slaves to corn! Sure, regular sweet corn on the cob is awesome. I'm not knocking that. And popcorn, when it doesn't have a bunch of weird artificial (or "Natural' (i.e. corn)) flavors is delicious. But the corn they make additives and sweeteners and etc etc out of is not the same kind of corn. It's barely edible. And what has really disgusted me this week is how much that stuff controls you. Your mind, your appetite, your moods. This past week I've been in a considerably better mood, I've been pretty even keeled. I haven't had cravings for junk. When it's out of your system, you don't crave it. And I've noticed that when I get full, my body tells me, clearly, and sooner than before. Corn just makes you shovel it in. It takes control of your brain and commands you!

I would recommend going corn free for a week to everyone. Not only will you gain a better grasp on how prevalent corn is in everything we eat, but you'll feel better, and your brain will be able to reset.

Although my week is up (I know it was only 5 days...) I plan on keeping up with the no corn thing. At the Co-op today we got more of the grass fed milk and cheese. We got pasta with no corn in it, tomato sauce with no corn. I always looked at nutritional information, but now I check the ingredients for corn. There are some things that I picked up and put back because of the corn thing. I will not knowingly consume high fructose corn syrup. I will try to avoid non grass fed milk and cheese as much as possible (the cheese will be more difficult.)

Thanks to everyone who cheered me on. I promise to you and to myself that I will continue on the corn free path. It's worth it! Getting local produce, eating organic, isn't just good for the environment, it's good for your mind and body. If anyone is interested in giving corn-free a try, let me know! I can give you some pointers and tips!

Corn Free-Day Four

2008-04-24T21:37:00.000-07:00

Today was a good day. Breakfast was coffe, brown rice crisps with milk (grass fed) and, at work, a banana. Lunch was way better. I had the sandwich I mentioned yesterday. Wheat bread (from the co-op,) garlic hummus (also from the co-op,) tomato, cucumber, red onion, arugula, and the most delicious avocado I may have ever had. I mean, this was a mind blowing avocado. A little sea salt (not iodized) and black pepper. 4pm snack was carrots and hummus.

Dinner was equally satisfying. T and I had a bunch of produce in the fridge that seemed like a great idea at the farmer's market, but by today we were wondering "What was I thinking?" So I chopped up half a cauliflower and some small potatoes and half a white onion; tossed them in olive oil, s&p and roasted them at 400 degrees. Ten minutes, took 'em out and stirred. Ten minutes, ditto. Then took them out and put shredded (freshly, none of that bagged crap) sharp cheddar (grass fed) on top. Cooked for another twenty minutes.

Meanwhile, green vegetable, I got this from the Omnivore's Dilemma actually. Kale, with the spines removed, with olive oil and s&p, on a cookie sheet, baked for the last ten minutes.

Both wound up fabulous.

You know, I joked about this being a sort of "corn detox" but I'm thinking maybe that wasn't really a joke. The week's nearly over, I feel really good. I've been in a much better mood, more sociable, less cranky. I haven't had an urge for any sort of high fructose nightmare. I haven't wanted a sweet after dinner. Although today I really wished I could've had some gum since I had onions on my sandwich for lunch.

I've also noticed that my stomach/brain will give me very clear signals that I'm full. No mindless eating. With my sandwich today, which was excellent, my brain just flashed to me "alright Meghan, that's enough." It's really bizarre.

Tomorrow will be my last day I think.

yuck

2008-04-23T23:24:00.000-07:00

Okay, I have to add a couple other things that astound/disgust me to the women who bend their knees while wearing high heels.

-Long fingernails on men. women too. It's unhygienic and serves no purpose. Dragonlady (or gentleman) nails need to go the way of the corset or the nehru jacket.

-Parents who remain in a restaurant while their small child shrieks and screams. Obviously you don't want to hear the screaming. But you've heard it so much because your child doesn't stop shrieking that you've learned to drown it out. I haven't. No one is learning anything from this experience. Your baby doesn't give a shit. I am not sympathetic.

-Commemorative plates.

Corn Free-Day Three/Part Two

2008-04-23T21:12:00.000-07:00

I don't know why I picked this photo. She looks really excited. Too excited to be wearing those pants. Those pants mean business, not excitement.

Anyway. Lunch was rough. (see earlier post) Around 3 I found some carrots that I'd brought in to work on Tuesday. I've been avoiding coffee and tea all week, except with breakfast. It's a lose lose. Either sugar or corny-splequal&low. And work milk isn't from pasture raised/fed cows. I was foolish today. Not enough preparation. That will be my demise this week. Tomorrow I've already got lunch planned: wheat bread (locally made, no corn) with hummus (ditto,) tomato, arugula and avocado. And black pepper. I need to double check the hummus though, just to be sure it's corn free. Otherwise it might call for that fabulous (grass-fed) cheddar

Dinner was whole wheat pasta with olive oil and garlic and roasted broccoli.

Yawnsville.

On a side note, I am always amused and simultaneously irritated by women who can't walk in high heels without bending their knees.

Corn Free-Day Three/Lunch Update

2008-04-23T13:46:00.000-07:00

Lunch was aborted. I don't know if it was the smell, or what. I just couldn't do it. I had a banana instead. I foresee some crankiness as the day goes on... Early condolences to anyone who crosses my path.

Corn Free-Day Three/Part One

2008-04-23T12:56:00.000-07:00

Okay, I woke up feeling a little queasy this morning and so instead of the cereal and fruit I had butter and margarine-less toast (from the co-op, locally made, no corn.) and coffee.

I'm staring at my lunch. Wheat couscous and veggies again. I'm really bored with this. It's my third lunch like this in a row. Adding the chickpeas hasn't helped. It isn't that it tastes bad, it's pretty tasty. I'm just bored with it. I will have to figure something else out for tomorrow...A salad maybe?A veggie sandwich with hummus (locally made) avocado and tomato? Actually, that sounds really good...I wish I was eating that instead!

People at work (with the exception of my ever amused friends Pat and Taka) don't really get it. They think I'm either doing this as a diet (which, admittedly, seems to be working, but isn't my intention) or that I'm really weird. But if you are what you eat, they are all corn, and I am delicious locally cultivated fruits, vegetables, cheese, and grains. Take that, skeptical co-workers!

I'm not sure what dinner will be. It will require some creativity. And no couscous!

Corn Free-Day Two

2008-04-22T21:14:00.000-07:00

This post may be dull. Breakfast and lunch were essentially the same as yesterday, but I added garbanzo beans (or chick peas) to my veggies and couscous. Banana and orange for snacks. Dinner was delish. Red wine, baked ziti made with organic pasta sauce (no corn or preservatives) whole wheat pasta (which, from my research, has no corn) and mozzarella cheese (from grass fed cows).

Today is/was earth day. People always make a big deal about plastic bags and recycling on earth day, but forget about it the other 364 days of the year. There was a chart on the latimes.com website today about carbon emissions from certain foods. "Beef steak" is at 7,166 grams per 6 oz. portion. The next thing after that (unfortunately for me) was "foreign cheese" with 2,923 grams per 6 oz. Yikes! I love foreign cheese. What a disappointment.

Anyway, two days into my experiment, and so far so good. I've been feeling better, not having processed snacks at work. It's nice but unusual to put (cane) sugar in my coffee instead of artificial sweetener.

If you haven't seen "Shine a Light" yet, you should.

P. Bush on Deal or No Deal

2008-04-21T22:17:00.001-07:00

This article is fucking ridiculous!

Little House (of Couture) on the Prairie

2008-04-21T21:42:00.000-07:00

MSN has an article about those Mormon chicks. A headline reads "Influencing This Season's Fashion?"

I can see it now. Urban Outfitters selling prairie dresses. Women with poufy Elaine Benes bangs. Anastasia shaped unibrows.

My favorite quote: "The women never cut their hair because they believe they will use it to wash Christ's feet during the Second Coming..."

Image Source

Corn Free-End of Day One

2008-04-21T20:55:00.000-07:00

I'm happy to report that Day One has been successful! In addition to my couscous and veggies, I also roasted some broccoli in the work toaster oven with a little olive oil, pepper and sea salt (iodized salt contains corn.)

While in the work kitchen, I was perusing the snack options, all of which were chock full o' corn. Granola bars, baked chips, pretzels, popcorn (obviously) candy. I looked at the ingredients of some gum, and of course, corn. And more disturbingly, gum (at least Orbitz) contains a little something called BHT, which, according to Wikipedia, "is a lipophilic (fat-soluble) organic compound that is primarily used as an antioxidant food additive (E number E321) as well as in cosmetics, pharmaceuticals, jet fuels, rubber,petroleum products, and embalming fluid."

BLECH! I don't want to consume something that is also used in EMBALMING FLUID and JET FUEL.

I digress...

Dinner was brown rice and veggies sauteed with sesame oil and edamame. Soy sauce, unfortunately, contains corn. Obviously, I did not include baby corn (a la Big) in the stir fry.

I was really wanting a cookie for dessert. We got these awesome Late July chocolate cookies at the Co-op yesterday. They are mindblowing -- and as a testament to how good they are, especially considering they have no high fructose corn syrup -- you only (well, I only) need one. Travis agreed that after one, you aren't compelled to have more. The cookie is so satisfying that one actually hits the spot. Anyway, I wanted one of these rockin chocolate cookies. But of course, eating this cookie would be mocking my entire day and experiment, so I had a coffee sweetened with cane sugar and a teaspoon of Green and Black cocoa powder. Not as decadent as that fucking cookie, but it hit the spot.

I thought about checking to see if my toothpaste has corn in it. I changed my mind. I'm sure it does. I will just assume that toothpaste is half corn. Cornpaste. Toothcorn. But thankfully, I don't make a habit of consuming toothpaste.

If I'm not compelled to cheat, this week should be pretty easy, I think. Eating out will be impossible, unfortunately. But fruits, veggies, and grains suit me. I foresee I will most miss: parmesan cheese, chocolate...I think that's it.

But who knows? I may be singing a different tune come Friday.

Corn Free-Day One/Part One

2008-04-21T10:28:00.000-07:00

So today's the day. I stocked up at the Co-op and the Farmer's Market. I think I'm as prepared for this as possible. I have a print out of the corn no-no's in my purse. I can resist the cornspiracy!

For breakfast I had Barbara's Brown Rice Crisps (Ingredients: Organic Whole Grain Brown Rice, Organic Fruit Juice Concentrate (Apple, Peach, Pear or Pineapple), Sea Salt.) with locally grown strawberries from the co-op, Organic Valley milk (from grass-fed cows) and a little Agave Nectar (100% agave) to sweeten it. I also had a cup of coffee with (grass fed cow) milk and Fair Trade cane sugar from Malawi. When I got to work I had a banana (from the Farmer's Market.)

I was smart. I made my lunch last night. Later I will be enjoying whole wheat couscous with squash, tomato, and onion (all from the Farmer's Market). And although the recipe on the couscous box called for butter or margarine, they don't work in the corn free world, so I substituted olive oil. I suppose butter might be okay, but we don't have any, and I think it's probably best to avoid it, especially when I can just replace it with olive oil.

More later.

Co-operate

2008-04-19T13:15:00.000-07:00

In preparation for my corn free diet (starting Monday!) Travis and I joined the Santa Monica Co-Op. This place is awesome. If you live in Los Angeles, I would highly recommend joining. It costs $30 a year, and as a member you get a discount on items (like a Ralph's card, sort of.) They have a lot of locally grown produce, as well as locally made breads and desserts and other things.

So in my non-corn quest, I stocked up on Barbara's Wheat Puff cereal (no corn, or corn by products) milk and cheese by Organic Valley (from grass fed cows!) and some locally made hummus and bread (no corn items in either.)

Tomorrow we go to the Farmer's Market in Larchmont, and I will enjoy my last cornified meal before my corn detox starts on Monday.

Blame it on the Bossanova

2008-04-16T23:44:00.000-07:00

I just saw an ad for some sort of competition held by caress soap, and the copy read "Unleash Your Brazilian Spirit!" Which made me wonder, can I have a Brazilian Spirit even if I'm not Brazilian? Is it something I can channel? And why is everyone so fascinated with Brazil? Brazilian jeans, Brazilian waxes. I don't know any Brazilian's, but they can't all be hairless and pear shaped, can they?

You rarely see men's ads or products that mention other countries. Typically, men's advertising tries to make men seem more "American." You know, all-American, yachting, or maybe rugged, cowboyish, dirty but still appealing with the "right cologne" or those bizarre "body sprays." If your cologne has a plastic spray nozzle, then it's probably more aptly used cleaning soap scum off the shower than distracting women from your stanky armpits.

Don't get me wrong, I love the movie Brazil, and the song, of course. And I also really love the film Black Orpheus, which takes place in Brazil. I do not like Brazil nuts though. In fact, in those mixed nuts packages, I never eat the Brazil nuts. They're too much nut. I wonder why they include them. Maybe they're cheap and they take up a lot of room in the bag, crowding out the better, more expensive nuts (cashews maybe?)

Brazil has a pretty cool flag, as far as flags go. And they speak Portuguese, which is an audibly pleasing language. I may be wrong, but I think Brazil takes up half of South America. That's a lot of real estate. They are also 70% Catholic, I believe.

Which begs the question, why the tight denim and hairless crotches? Or is this some sick marketing ploy to tack on "Brazil" to the front of a word to make it sound more exotic or (I hate this word) sensual?

King Corn

2008-04-16T20:28:00.000-07:00

I found out about a documentary called "King Corn" that will be playing on the LA PBS tomorrow night at 9pm. I will, obviously, be watching this. Check out the trailer here.

The King Corn PBS website challenges people to do what I will do, which is go cornless for a week. I hope to do it longer than a week, but we'll see. What I noticed while reading their entries is that none of them seemed to do any research about what they could eat before embarking on this. I'm determined not to make that mistake. I don't want it to be a week of salad and balsamic vinegar. That said, I've found a Co-op in Santa Monica that carries cheese and milk from grass fed cows, as well as some locally grown/made items. The plan is to go to the Co-op on Saturday, and the Farmer's Market in Larchmont on Sunday, and then start my a-maizing (sorry for that) adventure on Monday.

husky

2008-04-14T21:20:00.000-07:00

A list of items derived from corn that I will be attempt to avoid:

Acetic acid
Alcohol
Alpha tocopherol
Artificial flavorings
Artificial sweeteners
Ascorbates
Ascorbic acid
Astaxanthin
Baking powder
Barley malt* (generally OK, but can be contaminated)
Bleached flour*
Blended sugar (sugaridextrose)
Brown sugar* (generally OK if no caramel color)
Calcium citrate
Calcium fumarate
Calcium gluconate
Calcium lactate
Calcium magnesium acetate (CMA)
Calcium stearate
Calcium stearoyl lactylate
Caramel and caramel color
Carbonmethylcellulose sodium
Cellulose microcrystalline
Cellulose, methyl
Cellulose, powdered
Cetearyl glucoside
Choline chloride
Citric acid*
Citrus cloud emulsion (CCS)
Coco glycerides (cocoglycerides)
Confectioners sugar
Corn alcohol, corn gluten
Corn extract
Corn flour
Corn oil, corn oil margarine
Corn starch
Corn sweetener, corn sugar
Corn syrup, corn syrup solids
Corn, popcorn, cornmeal
Cornstarch, cornflour
Crosscarmellose sodium
Crystalline dextrose
Crystalline fructose
Cyclodextrin
DATUM (a dough conditioner)
Decyl glucoside
Decyl polyglucose
Dextrin
Dextrose (also found in IV solutions)
Dextrose anything (such as monohydrate or anhydrous)
d-Gluconic acid
Distilled white vinegar
Drying agent
Erythorbic acid
Erythritol
Ethanol
Ethocel 20
Ethylcellulose
Ethylene
Ethyl acetate
Ethyl alcohol
Ethyl lactate
Ethyl maltol
Fibersol-2
Flavorings*
Food starch
Fructose*
Fruit juice concentrate*
Fumaric acid
Germ/germ meal
Gluconate
Gluconic acid
Glucono delta-lactone
Gluconolactone
Glucosamine
Glucose*
Glucose syrup* (also found in IV solutions)
Glutamate
Gluten
Gluten feed/meal
Glycerides
Glycerin*
Glycerol
Golden syrup
Grits
High fructose corn syrup
Hominy
Honey*
Hydrolyzed corn
Hydrolyzed corn protein
Hydrolyzed vegetable protein

Hydroxypropyl methylcellulose
Hydroxypropyl methylcellulose pthalate (HPMCP)
Inositol
Invert syrup or sugar
Iodized salt
Lactate
Lactic acid*
Lauryl glucoside
Lecithin
Linoleic acid
Lysine
Magnesium fumarate
Maize
Malic acid
Malonic acid
Malt syrup from corn
Malt, malt extract
Maltitol
Maltodextrin
Maltol
Maltose
Mannitol
Methyl gluceth
Methyl glucose
Methyl glucoside
Methylcellulose
Microcrystaline cellulose
Modified cellulose gum
Modified corn starch
Modified food starch
Molasses* (corn syrup may be present; know your product)
Mono and di glycerides
Monosodium glutamate
MSG
Natural flavorings*
Olestra/Olean
Polenta
Polydextrose
Polylactic acid (PLA)
Polysorbates* (e.g. Polysorbate 80)
Polyvinyl acetate
Potassium citrate
Potassium fumarate
Potassium gluconate
Powdered sugar
Pregelatinized starch
Propionic acid
Propylene glycol*
Propylene glycol monostearate*
Saccharin
Salt (iodized salt)
Semolina (unless from wheat)
Simethicone
Sodium carboxymethylcellulose
Sodium citrate
Sodium erythorbate
Sodium fumarate
Sodium lactate
Sodium starch glycolate
Sodium stearoyl fumarate
Sorbate
Sorbic acid
Sorbitan
Sorbitan monooleate
Sorbitan tri-oleate
Sorbitol
Sorghum* (not all is bad; the syrup and/or grain CAN be mixed with corn)
Starch (any kind that's not specified)
Stearic acid
Stearoyls
Sucrose
Sugar* (not identified as cane or beet)
Threonine
Tocopherol (vitamin E)
Treacle (aka golden syrup)
Triethyl citrate
Unmodified starch
Vanilla, natural flavoring
Vanilla, pure or extract
Vanillin
Vegetable anything that's not specific*
Vinegar, distilled white
Vinyl acetate
Vitamin C* and Vitamin E*
Vitamins*
Xanthan gum
Xylitol
Yeast*
Zea mays
Zein

Aw shucks.

2008-04-14T12:59:00.001-07:00

I am more than halfway through "The Omnivore's Dilemma." It is a book by Michael Pollan and it is both blowing my mind and upsetting my stomach. If you have not read it, you MUST read it. If you have read it, I'd love to have a discussion with you. This book has completely changed the way I see food, and opened my eyes to the sort of crap we've been cramming into our bodies. One of the first things you learn in the book is that corn is in everything. I'm not talking just Doritos and tortillas. It's in the soda you drink (high fructose corn syrup,) it's in the ice cream and candy you eat (HFCS again, and a myriad of other corn based sweeteners, flavors and preservatives) it's fed to the cows (unnaturally in fact; cows' stomachs are not made to digest corn. Being slaughtered is almost a much better alternative to what would happen to their bodies if they continued to live on a corn based diet (not to mention all the cow fat they're force fed as well. But I digress)) whose milk makes the ice cream or cheese, it's even fed to fish.

Needless to say, corn is freaking me out.

Therefore, I have decided to do a little homework, and attempt to go at least a week, hopefully more than that, without eating anything corn based, corn fed, corn derived, etc. I will blog about it here. Although this will most likely be very difficult, I imagine this experiment will leave me feeling healthier, and I will probably lose weight. As I write this I'm having my lunch of a turkey sandwich (turkey fed corn, bread probably brimming with corn derived products, a little cheese made from cow fed corn, mustard with corn preservatives...) and a diet dr. pepper (corn corn corn!)

I doubt I will be able to eat out, as I won't know what's going into my food. There will be no soda, and I will have to research dairy to find out if there is even milk available nearby that comes from grass fed cows. I won't be able to use artificial sweetener in my coffee or tea. I will make my own salad dressing, I will have to avoid fruits and vegetables with that freshness wax (corn.) I will not be able to eat any processed foods. This will prove to be very difficult, but I am up for the challenge!

Tonight I start my research.

Things That Aren't As Funny As People Think They Are:

2008-04-05T15:52:00.000-07:00

1. Elderly women: rapping

swearing

talking about sex (exemption: The Golden Girls)

2. Men dressed as fat women.

3. A nerdy/overly thin/overly fat guy in 1970's apparel (especially track suits, bell bottoms, white boots, and afro wigs/hairdos.)

4. Pregnant women wanting pickles.

5. Malfunctioning machinery and/or appliances.

6. Prostate exams/Gynecologist Appointments.

7. Animals biting or running into testicles.

8. Fake rotting "Billy Bob" teeth

9. Ray Romano.

Bottoms up!

2008-03-21T11:06:00.000-07:00

According to the New York Post, Eliot Spitzer is getting a little therapy and trying to figure out if he is a sex addict. I think someone needs to get over themself. When was it decided that anytime someone notable fucks up, they check into rehab or enroll in therapy? And then we have to hear people on every news network spout off about why men cheat, why celebrities abuse prescription drugs, why people make sex tapes, and so forth.

While I don't know why people continue to make sex tapes these days, with our beloved internet keeping no secrets, I would say there are a myriad of reasons why people do anything. So why must we rehash this analysis over and over and over again? Sure, I get as much twisted pleasure out of other people's miseries as the next gal; but if you have to report it, just report that it happened and move on. The constant commentary is so unnecessary.

"Regular" people do much weirder stuff than celebrities (the woman who got stuck to the toilet because she sat on it so long.) I'm sure Mel Gibson wasn't the first drunk man to call a lady cop "sugar tits." Admittedly, I'm as fascinated by celebrity rehabs as anyone (I wrote a script about it) but I think we need to stop hearing about people checking into them. And notable figures need to give us a little credit. Sleeping with high end call girls is not necessarily a symptom of sex addiction. Power addiction, maybe. Stop finding excuses for transgressions. Say you fucked up and get over yourself!

image source

Three Men and a Buffet

2008-03-20T20:41:00.000-07:00

I'm really disgusted by the idea of buffets. Any meal that requires a sneeze guard is unhygienic and unappetizing. They seem so wasteful. Food congealing in a trough of ice. Red gelatinous globs covered in whipped topping. Clumping shredded cheddar cheese. Oily sunflower seeds. Gritty mushrooms. Mayonnaisey pasta salad with tuna, peas, and red onions. Maybe a little clam chowder, hardening at the top of the pot.

I just saw a promo for "Three Men and a Baby" on TV Land. The hair in that film is mountainous. Luscious locks. Will large/long/pouffy hair on men come back in style? Will wigs come back in style? Will we just become increasingly more casual? Why was Ted Danson considered sexy?

photo unrelated.

2008-03-20T00:05:00.000-07:00

I went to a screening of this documentary about musicals (I know someone who worked on it.) The Q & A afterwards was bizarre. According to a very husky (both in stature and voice) woman stood up to inform the audience that apparently a hour long version (probably 43 minutes with commercials) played on PBS and was, as she recounted, "an abortion."

Shirley Jones was the narrator of the film. She was part of the Q & A, and she was sweet and gracious. Her curmudgeonly ponytailed husband, Marty, was in the audience, and he kept shouting comments. He yawned loudly when a woman asked an excruciatingly long question in a very hushed voice. Another man in the audience asked a question that involved "spiritual intensity" in relation to "Carnival." I had grown tired of applauding every time a question was answered at this point. There was, I'm happy to report, a woman who could not stop clapping. She applauded through the entire end titles, all the way to the end. And then she gave a standing ovation, by herself.

As we were leaving, the abortion woman chatted up Bob, kevetching about the tragic shortened version that played on PBS. "It was horrible. It ended at 1959!"

All in all a pleasant evening.

toof necklace

2008-03-12T23:13:00.000-07:00

the unholiest of unions

2008-03-05T16:09:00.000-08:00

I read this great editorial/article about abstaining from marriage.

A choice quote is: "I have never wanted to get married, not for one second. I think it's because I watched too many Bette Davis and Joan Crawford films and identified with those wisecracking, fast-talking dames. If it were a case of choosing between being Doris Day and Joan Crawford, I would always choose to be the mistress, never the wife. The bride's story ended with marriage, because after the wedding there was never anything interesting worth filming. And so today, in essence, after years of living with my partner, I am a "wife" and we are "married"...but I stick to the fact that I am still the girlfriend and we live together because for me being married means being boring and predictable and conforming to what is expected."

The more I think about a wedding, or am pestered about it, the less I'm interested. It would be different if I was a religious person, or an ostentatious person. But being neither, a wedding seems so impractical; the exceptions being tax and medical reasons. However, tax nor medical reasons are not particularly romantic, and they seem like such alien motivations to get married, on par with marrying someone so they can get a Green Card, or becoming someone's beard.

Travis and I have a good arrangement, and admittedly, just having the knowledge that if he drives me crazy enough I could whisk the cat off and leave is oddly comforting. Do I need a dress I will wear once? I have dresses I've only worn once. They cost the fraction of a wedding dress, and I still sigh in frugal embarrassment every time I peruse my closet. Do I need to force my friends and family to schlep somewhere to see me exchange nondenominational vows? I'm all for the sickness and health part, but all that honoring and obeying seems like a lot to ask. People will come to the wedding to see me and "share" in my "big day" and I will get to talk to them for just a few minutes before having to continue the schmooze-fest.

We don't need gifts; we don't need other people purchasing housewares for us. I certainly don't need to spend six months planning a party that will go by in the blink of an eye. Spending money on flowers that will die and food for people who decide they aren't going to show up seems ridiculous. The ceremony is supposed to be this "sacred" event, before God. But when you don't really believe in God, it seems inappropriate. Call me unromantic. Go ahead, call me unromantic. Screw you! You're wrong! Taking the money one would spend on a wedding and planning a really extravagant vacation--that is romantic. If I'm going to spend tens of thousands of dollars on a party, it's going to be for my birthday, and I won't be wearing white, lest I spill something on myself.

Image Source

i love michael musto

2008-03-05T10:45:00.000-08:00

check this shit out.

here's the article that accompanies the fabulous photo spread.

it's all lies, and that's the truth

2008-03-04T10:47:00.000-08:00

I read this article on the Huffington Post today about another fictional memoir. There has been such a rash of these over the past few years, I don't know why it isn't recognized as a new genre. If something is well written, who cares if it's true? It's more of a marketing decision than a judgement of writing ability. Like movies that are "based on a true story." Or "based on actual events." Or what about "historical fiction"? I don't know why people get so upset about this. A good story is a good story, whether it happened or not. In fact, reality is typically way more interesting than fiction, so if a writer authors a compelling book that is plausibly real, that is an accomplishment.

In other news, Travis and I took a long walk around the neighborhood on Sunday, to avoid the L.A. Marathon traffic, and I saw more latex gloves along the side of the road than ever before. I don't know what that means, but it struck me as very unusual...

image source

bob and ethel

2008-02-23T19:38:00.001-08:00

wish i had some bob hope.

image obviously from getty images

precipitous

2008-02-22T13:20:00.000-08:00

It's been really rainy.

I read that New York is expecting 9 inches of snow. Yikes. I miss NY. It was really magical when it would snow, and you'd be walking around, especially at night. Two days after a snow you have to rappel over snow banks piled up at street corners, and you develop an over active anxiety over potentially being splashed by drive by taxis. I remember being halfway to my internship downtown and having to head back home to change my clothes because I was hit with a five foot dirty bomb of water. Euch.

happy birthday galileo, matt groening, susan b. anthony, and myself

2008-02-15T10:08:00.000-08:00

Today is my birthday. At 12:37 am I turned twenty six. Which means, of course, that I am now in my "late-twenties." The birthdays of 23-25 kind of got me down. Having to go to work on your birthday seems like a cruel cosmic joke. When I was growing up, I remember having the best birthday parties. My parents always planned great parties, and my mom never just ran to the grocery store for a vanilla cake with plastic toys on it. I had a Mad Hatter's Tea Party, and I vividly remember the invitations my dad drew, a top hat with a card in it, like the Mad Hatter's.

As an adult, it's sort of a catch 22. I don't love the idea of planning a birthday event for myself, but I don't really trust anyone else to plan something for me. I guess the former part of that statement is a bit of a lie. I do like planning things, even if it is for myself. When you plan your own parties/dinners/outings you get exactly what you want. I don't know if that takes any of the fun out of it though, losing the element of surprise.

Speaking of surprise, Travis gave me this fabulous and whimsical necklace I spied at a boutique on Beverly. It's actually something I'd wanted even before I saw the actual necklace.

It's a molar.

Sort of like this:

However, my necklace was made by an artist who works at the store. And it is an actual molar covered in silver. I'll post a photo when I get home.

I still have my wisdom teeth in a jar. Perhaps someday I could get a matching bracelet made (!) or earrings?

Hey I know it's weird. I've realized that I like to surround myself with things/art/whatever that make me smile. A painting of a man with his head in a lion's mouth makes me smile.

The Melancholy Wolfman makes me smile.

A tooth necklace makes me smile. I don't know why anyone would want artwork of sad or unpleasant things in their home. So many things out there can bum you out. Life's too short to let that stuff into your home. I'd rather surround myself with silly, whimsical, laughable things.

My hopes for twenty six are thus:

I'd like to take some piano lessons.

I'd like to get an SLR camera and get back into photography on a more regular basis.

I'd like to get a Print Gocco screen printer and learn to make prints with it.

And what I know I will do during twenty six are thus:

I will finish my sperm donor script.

I will attempt to finish my radio script and my amnesia script.

I will hustle to get my most recent script, High and Dry, out there.

Top Image Source

crybabies

2008-02-07T10:39:00.000-08:00

I'm really tired of Juno. I've read a lot of articles that refer to it as this year's Little Miss Sunshine, but really, I think it's this year's Napoleon Dynamite. I've heard that there is going to be a video game. I imagine it's only a matter of time before there are Juno Tic Tacs, notebooks, etc. People will dress up as characters for Halloween. Maybe an SNL sketch. By the end of the year we'll see Juno stickers in the $1 section at Target. I can't entirely articulate why I loathe the idea of Juno so much. Maybe it's just a natural reaction to dislike what everyone is wetting themselves over. There are so many good, quirky, well written movies that don't act like they have something to prove, or proclaim themselves inventors of their own genre.

I should probably be pleased that there are three female writers nominated for Academy Awards this year, and that all the attention drawn to the writer of Juno might make studio big wigs more open to female writers. But I still can't help being annoyed.

And I hate babies. So there's that, too.

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animales

2008-02-02T23:11:00.000-08:00

My friend Stephanie and I went to the L.A. Zoo today. I went to high school with Stephanie in Kansas City, Kansas, and the zoo in KC was terrific. The L.A. Zoo, by comparison, kinda blows. The environments were too small and not very natural looking. And the crowd was abysmal. After living in close proximity with a wild animal, (Ella) it's fun to see other animals behave the same way.

stache

2008-01-24T11:14:00.001-08:00

Don't Get Eliminated

2008-01-21T20:48:00.000-08:00

I saw a clip of American Gladiators. I'm really worried that television is going to be like Japanese TV. What is the fascination with people doing obstacle courses and falling into water? (dirty water, it seems, in Japan)

What ever happened to the good old days of Double Dare with Marc Summers? Let's be honest. If people are going to fall into a liquid, I think we'd all agree that green slime is much funnier than dirty water. Although, not as degrading... Is that the point?

MXC photo source

Double Dare photo source

Old Pics/New Pics/Organizing

2008-01-21T17:42:00.000-08:00

Pics from New York

This was a BBQ festival. He isn't wearing any clothes. Does nudity go with BBQ?

Planned?

Fortitude.

Kitty Likes Looking out the Window.

I was inspired by this website.

Kitty on the new couch.

We got these shelves on Saturday, and I spent much of the weekend organizing. This has sort of replaced my dresser; I moved most of my stuff to the baskets. So far, so good. It's easier to be organized when things have a specific place. Plus, it's nice having a little desk cubby.

personality cult

2008-01-21T16:11:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we had lunch at this place on Melrose called Mao's Kitchen. In the three plus years we've lived in L.A., it's probably the best cheap Chinese food I've had. At a table near us were two loud women and a man with a ponytail. The women wore very skimpy dresses for mid-January 50 degree weather. One of them (who I can only assume was an actress) was talking about how she was asked to be on this MTV show "Parental Control," where parents who are unhappy with their child's significant other pick out a new person for them to go on a date with. She would be one of these alternate dates. She was, however, married. And she told the MTV casting person this; and they didn't seem to care.

I wish I had more of an anecdote for this, but I don't. I guess it's just another example of how scripted reality tv is.

Image Source

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puddin' pops

2008-01-17T21:21:00.000-08:00

I was looking into domestic pet cloning. Apparently for $1,500 you can have this "gene bank" store a biopsy sample of your fuzzy loved one until commercial pet cloning is available.

I would definitely have Ella cloned. Although I know a lot of what makes her so social is her previous life on the street, it would be an interesting experiment in nurture vs. nature. And being able to see what she would've looked like as a kitten would be fascinating. I was never crazy about cats, except when I was six and I got a cat for my birthday, which was one of those fabulous prepubescent wish fulfillments. Perhaps that's why I have such a soft spot for Ella (who admittedly was a real disappointment at first, and we both abhorred each other for nearly six months.) She is just as roly poly as previous said cat.

It's funny how you're drawn to the familiar, animals that remind you of old pets, people who remind you of old friends. Maybe that's why pick up lines like "Do I know you from somewhere?" or "You look really familiar" have the potential to work, theoretically. We like things that remind us of the past. Perhaps we think it takes some of the guesswork out of things-or at least some of the work. Everything is so much work already, this is just another area to be indolent. Which of course brings to mind the cliche if you keep doing what you've always done... (a quick Google search of that brings a profusion of variations/versions of the saying.) If only Benjamin Franklin had written it; I'm sure it would've been considerably pithier.

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Gottesacker

2008-01-17T14:45:00.000-08:00

According to the L.A. Times, the "It-Bag" is dead. First of all, I would imagine that if you are frequently photographed toting an "It-Bag" you probably don't flip through the newspaper that often (although, to be fair, the article was in the L.A. Times and not the Wall Street Journal.) Secondly, if the author is correct in calling time of death, I wonder what will replace it. A Hermes scarf tied to the end of a stick* a la rail hopping hobos?

Hmm...maybe I'm on to something here...

*Also known as a bindle.

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i like ike (kind of)

2008-01-16T15:44:00.000-08:00

I just read that Ike Turner died of a cocaine overdose.

A few years ago I was an intern/production assistant on The Blues documentaries that Martin Scorsese executive produced for PBS. I started working on it in Memphis. My parents had moved to Memphis while I was in college, and as I was home for summer vacation, working on this documentary seemed like a pretty good way to pass the time in an alien city (state? region?) I like both the blues and documentaries, so it seemed like serendipity.

My first task was to show up at this bar/restaurant/former brothel for a lunch/interview with Ike Turner and a few other blues greats. The guys were sitting around a table, chewing the fat, as was Ike's girlfriend. Her pendulous breasts and towering hair (wig?) kept inserting themselves into shots. She brought along her own video camera to document the event. At some point in the afternoon she ran out of videotapes.

I was asked to drive Ike Turner and his girlfriend to a drug store to get blank tapes for her camera. In Memphis, a town I had been in for a few weeks. In my green VW Beetle. Which, needless to say, has two doors.

The girlfriend sat in the back. She was wearing tan palazzo pants with slits up the sides going mid thigh, and a criminally low cut blouse. As she crammed her cellulicious body into my petite back seat, she had to grab ahold of her hair (wig? weave?) to make sure the low clearance didn't crush the blonde citadel on her head.

Ike sat in the passenger seat, next to me. He had on a tunic with a nehru collar. A massive gold pendant hung around his neck. I told him I was new in town and had no idea where a drug store was. I figured honesty would probably be the best policy in this situation. He didn't seem to care. He was too busy marveling at the spacious front seat of my Bug, while his squished lady friend chimed in that she'd prefer a Rolls. I'd prefer one too. And if I was driving a Rolls, I don't think I'd be working as an intern on a PBS documentary. But I digress...

Ike told me to drive around. Eventually we'd find a store. I headed towards the touristy down town area, Beale Street. Ike rolled down his window and started asking pedestrians on the sidewalk if they knew where he could find blank videotapes. People started pointing, coming up to the car, recognizing Ike. Not that I was ever all that familiar with Ike before this outing, but even if I had seen a man who looked exactly like Ike Turner sitting in a green VW Beetle driven by a bespectacled white girl, I would never in a million years actually think it was him.

Somehow they knew.

After much hand shaking and slow driving on my part we found a drug store. Ike and Blondie went inside. Five minutes go by. Ten minutes. Fifteen. Twenty. The producer calls my cell phone to see where we're at. I tell him Ike is still in the store. Should I go inside and get him? He says he'll call me right back. When he does, he says that Ike should be coming out, he had been recognized by some drug store employees who promptly ripped open disposable cameras and started snapping photos with Mr. T.

Ike and his lady appear, after nearly thirty minutes in the drug store. I had the pleasure of watching her wedge herself into my backseat once again, nearly avoiding a nip-slip. On the drive back Ike reminisced about Memphis, telling me a story about how fabulous the city was because once he lost a big gold necklace there and someone had found it and returned it to him.

No shit, I thought to myself. I'm sure they saw What's Love Got To Do With It, and figured, if I don't return this ornate piece of jewelry to the man himself I might wake up with a mod boot jammed up my asshole.

I guess it doesn't matter how charismatic and fun someone may seem while complimenting one on their car or chatting about necklaces, you don't fuck with Tina.

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Pietro Barbino:Pollution

2008-01-16T14:05:00.000-08:00

This is a naked dwarf on a tortoise. Maybe it's a turtle. Although a quick check with the dubiously reliable wikipedia and I'm fairly sure it's a tortoise. I think this is a good start to my blogging adventure. This handsome guy is residing outside the Palazzo Pitti in Florence. Shit, I'd straddle a Testudine to hang out in Florence, which is saying a lot, as I harbor what I consider to be a pretty rational apprehension of salmonella.

It was very smoggy this morning. Smoggy/Foggy. Above photo of Los Angeles sprawl was not taken today, obviously.